Navigating "blurriness" with DID/OSDD

What do you do when an alter in a DID/OSDD system feels "blurry"? What if they don't know who they are, what their name is, or what their function is?

These are some questions I've been sitting with, and experiencing personally. DID is typically a very covert disorder, but therapists and online spaces tend to expect systems to know the details on how their mind works. The reality is that systems may often feel "blurry," or have a difficult time identifying one alter from another. It could feel like you're missing an identity despite knowing you often present differently. You know the others, but can't remember who "you" are.

This is something I've experienced myself. But when I looked for resources for navigating this complicated state of blurriness and uncertainty, all I found were more questions like "What's your name?" or "What's your role?" I had no answers for those questions. Instead, I made my own resource for navigating this experience based in self-reflection and exploration. Getting back to the basics.

This took me from "I don't know who I am or how I feel" to "I'm a part that feels stable and content, physically grounded and calm, and enjoys being mentally active and logical. I like mental stimulation, and I don't want to fall behind on necessary tasks." Names and specific hobbies or memories often come last.

Another fun activity to pair this exploration with is a free word association. Just writing down random words or phrases that get at some part of how you feel, identify, or just have on your mind.

All of these activities and questions are designed to get your brain flowing and connected back to itself. This has brought up forgotten memories, greater access to self-understanding, and a way to recognize alters more easily.

I wanted to post this more publicly as a free resource for therapists assisting folks with DID/OSDD, as well as for systems that may be navigating this. I posted another version to my Instagram that is slightly reworded and more experiential for DID/OSDD systems to engage with. I'll be turning this into a worksheet in the future, but for now, I'm happy to put this out into the world as it is.